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Friday, May 2, 2008

??????

Hey wats up everyone. Its been a while oh. just been really busy. I was in Lagos two weeks ago. Went on Wednesday, came back on Sunday. It was teew mad mehnn. I had fun(well kinda). Okay make I start story.Went to lagos for absolutely nothing. My mum just got up one day and decided to go to Lag wiv no reason at all.She decided to take me along oh. Na so I land for Lag. Okay so we when we arrived in Lag everyone was just staring at me. Shwoo wetin I do all these pple??? I nor sabi speak Yoruba unless I for ask d Yoruba looking guys. Anyway so we get to the new airport. When u arrive, a bus abi na shuttle (una know say I bush b4 now) takes u from the plane area to the baggage claim wareva. So me and my mum step in. I look around, some white men are staring at me. I then proceed to unzip my bag and then I turned on my ipod and was jamming GONGO ASO(I loooove dat song). And I noticed dat my mum was giving me a dirty look cos she h8s ipods and anything dat has to do wiv ear phones cos she believes dat itll damage my ear. Bla bla bla. I just nor send d woman oh. After all their time don pass as pple would say. We get to the baggage claim area and just as im getting off d shuttle abi na bus one white man says hi. I smile at him and say hi to him. He wanted more conversation but I wasn’t up for it cos I was hustling on showing the trolley guy our luggage. We get outta there, take the company bus to the hotel. We to the hotel, we shower and sleep.

The next day, b4 we left d hotel, my mum told me dat im going to sleep over at her late friends house dat I should just carry the necessities. We then set out for one market called Balogun market. We get there and DAMN I wore white shoes. God I will never try dat again in my life. I was mad at every damn soul who stepped on my shoes. The road to the so called “cosmetic shop” was filled with the nastiest mud. My shoes never came out the same. I was busy screaming mum RUBBER SLIPPERS. She didn’t even listen.

We get to VGC where im going to sleep over. My mum then goes ahead to tell me dat shes leaving and dat I should have fun wiv S. S is the last son of his mum. He has other siblings abroad but he chose to skool in naija. When his mum was alive, she will always tell me “u will marry my son”.(awww I miss her so much). She was my mums best friend. Anyways so S wasdonly one at home. His dad comes back from work by 9 cos of lagos traffic and he works in some oil company and does overtime.watver sha. So my mum leaves. We start talking and all dat. We were watching dstv, went on the internet for a bit. I then saw a video dat he downloaded from a blogspot site. It had a copyright thing on the video. I then ask him if he has a blog or he reads blogs. He says no dat he got the video from a friend. He then sees me reading afro babe’s blog. He then asks wat it is. I just mumbled something. Anyways he then leaves to go and get something. I quickly get off the pc after hitting the Ctrl+Shift+Delete button on my Mozilla Firefox cos I knew he was going to check my laptop for pictures cos he told me already and he is a computer whiz so I didn’t want him to discover my blog also. Anyways he comes back and we get talking about old times and all. His dad returns and I greet him. Good evening sir. I was really glad to see him cos I hadn’t seen him in a while. He then looks at me like am trash, and then says “yeah”. I was really mad but I just thot the guy wasn’t in a good mood maybe cos of lagos traffic or something. I then wentthe room at least to give d guy space and then S knocks and enters. There was another bed on the floor so he lies on it. I was on face book then and u know how addictive dat thing is. He starts talking and I pretend to listen while checking my friend requests and looking at some of my sisters pictures. He then realiised I wasn’t listening, he then throws a pillow at me. Dats when we start fighting. Im really aggressive and he knows dat. So I jump from my own bed down to the mattress on the floor and on top of him. I was on top of him, his dad then came in and called S. I got off him and he went out of the room. I was so embarrassed. As in, it was a very compromising position. S came back like two hours l8r and woke me up. I was like screaming at him,, askin him wat he wanted, he then asked y I was sleeping and im like its two am if he hasn’t realised. I then ask him bout his dad and wat he thot was going on. He then said dat he didn’t say anything, he just wanted him to type some document. Anyways we talk for a while and then run out of things to say. I then doze off.

The next morning I felt someone slowly stroking my face, it was S. when I woke up, he was like “finally”. I avoided talking to him cos of morning breath. I never ready to kill another man pikin. Anyways I got in the bath room, brushed my teeth and had my bath. I then got dressed, waiting for my mum to come pick me up. Luckily, it was a Friday morning and his dad had gone to work early so i didnt have to greet. When my mum came, S then said to her "Aunty, i dont want her to go". i really wanted to go but my mum gave me one kinda eye like i shud stay (u know dat kinda eye dat ur mum gave u when u were little, in parties where she did not want u to eat or drink anything). eheen. she gave me dat eye. She wanted me to stay cos she knew d guy was lonely and needed company. anyways me and my mum struck a deal dat she'll go back to the hotel and bring my clothes which she did.

It was so boring.all we did was play games on psp(yeah i play games a lot), we did the gamesharing thingy. i beat his ass. we watched tv and nepa struck. They put on the generator (in VGC again?? i been think say them get constant light). still nothing to do. we ate, slept.We were watching some movie when his dad came in, i greeted and still d same response. i was really mad. tried my best not to show it. i went to d room and i was watching some movie on the internet when S came in and asked if I wanted red wine. i told him no. he tried to convince me to have some but i seriously wasnt up for it. After he finished boozing, he came into the room and started yarning some stufff. me i wasnt up for dat. i just dey think of my bloggers. at least one go dey stay for VGC. i for just call am to come carry me go club oh sumtin. i was in the mood to party but the environment was killing this mood. Anyways i slept off & i woke up to see S sleeping on my bed. Throughout my stay, he slept on the bed on the ground. anyways we r meant to be "family friends" so no wahala. So i get up by 6.am to call my cousin cos it was her birthday and i put an alarm. i call her and when im done, i proceed to the living room. i get there no one is there. i go back to the room. i then went back to bed.i couldnt sleep just kept turning and turning.S woke up, saw dat i was awake, cuddled me without saying a word, got up and went outta d room, probably to his room. i brushed my teeth and started watching some sitcom on my laptop.was kinda bored so i went to the sitting room. lo and behold, S's dad is sitting there, watching highlights of some football match.i then greet "Good Morning Sir" he replies " so is this how u guys sleep till mid day. u dont cook, all u do is eat and sleep. u couldnt even wake up for morning devotion". i then tell him dat ive been up since 6.he then goes "i hear"( u know d way all these ibotic men behave). i was really mad. i just went into the room. i laid there.all i could think of was "did he just say dat?"... u say u had morning devotion and i didnt hear a single sound. in my house, wehn we do morning devotion, the full neighbourhood dey hear oh. yeah i know im exaggerating and all dat but at least my room was close to the living room so i shoulda at least heard sumtin. anyways S then comes in and he sees im not happy. he then asks y and i tell him all bout it. he then apologises and said he wanted to come and call me but he just thot it wasn't necessary. watver sha. i left his house,really mad at his father

On the way to some plaza wiv my mum, i then ask her y she didn't stay wiv me there, she was like she doesnt really like the man and dat he scares her and when her friend (his wife) was still alive, seh always made sure he was on a business trip b4 she goes to sleep over.I and my mum do a little shopping b4 returning back to the hotel.The next day i went home. it felt nice to be home at least theres no one to torment u here.

talking bout Lagos trips, i was in Lagos sometime last year wehn this happened. i was staying wiv my uncle and his girlfriend told him to come and pick her from where she was making her hair. i decided to go wiv him cos i was bored at home.on our way there, we branch some fast food joint and my uncle gets sausages. he was eating his and we see this guy wiv his brand new car (mercedes 190). all of a sudden, he takes a sharp bend and scratches his car. my uncle started laughing at d guy. me i joined him to laugh cos d guy was the one dat was posin wiv his brand new car. my uncle then stops the car by the shoemakers shop. when he turned, he saw the guy running towards his (my uncles car) with a screw jack. he said dat he must in his words "scatter my uncles wind screen". he then gets to the car and seize my uncles shirt. My uncle had a mouthful of sausage and instead of him to spit it out, he was struggling to swallow it(he is really tall and lanky) and at the same time make the man let go of his shirt. it was a funny sight. the guy was screaming in yoruba. pedestrians had to hold d guy oh. they then asked him wat the problem was, he then said dat my uncle and his girlfriend (referring to me) were laughing at him. the guy struggled and struggled and some pple from nearby houses came to meet us. they told us dat we can stay in their compound until d man cools off and leaves which we did. i dont think ill ever forget that experience.

P.S: im sorry for not updatin ever since. Had serious internet problems. i H8 my ISP. i dont care if they see this. im actually on the internet illegally cos ive not paid. lol. criminal sturvs.

DESPERATE LADY if u ever see this, i need an invite. seriously.

uzezi, soupasexy, mz dee, all others thanx for all d luv.

46 comments:

AlooFar said...

Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaaaaack! (Sorry Maze)

I'm LMAO!

So u disobeyed your mum, ehn?
U wan spoil your ear drum, ehn?

You should allowed that boy to see Afrobabe's blog, especially the pics so that...

Where is the chocolate?

Mz. Dee said...

u updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank god i came here today!
Second.. oh well not bad. one day i'll be first. lolz

My mother has the same problems with earphones o..lol
So u were in lag?? Imagine..
I was in lag last week tuesday until friday too!
Had mad fun sha and a bit of stuvz dat made me angry.
The car incident.. lagos ppl are crazyyyyy!! And wen they start off in yoruba eh.. u wont even hear word!

Nwayz, soo effin happy u updated!
Keep it comin.. !

soupasexy said...

chai this girl, u were really bored ehn pele dear.
lol@ ur uncle trying to swallow the sussage and him being tall and lanky..so am guessing the agbero for wound am well well..lol

Afrobabe said...

dannng that was a long post...

so did errrrmmm boyffy find out u blog???

come aloofar, what's wrong with the pics on my page? are they not educative???

So what did u bring from naija?

Mz. Dee said...

sweettttttie ive tagged u o!!
Make u quirkzz!
(go to my blog if u want the rules)

tankojjetty said...

SO U WERE AT THE FAMOUS BALOGUN MARKET...THANK GOD THEY DIDNT GIVE U A WELCOME TO LAGOS SCENE...BY TAKING YOUR IPOD,IT BELONGS TO THEM DOESNT IT...
SHA NICE BLOG...
I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED IN THAT BEDROOM WITH S...AND U'RE NOT TELLING US...LOL
SINGLE,LONELY MALE FAMILY FRIENDS ARE DANGEROUS...TRUST ME I KNOW...
ONE TIME,OOPS...THIS ISNT EVEN MY BLOG,
LOL
LATER

soupasexy said...

u have also been tagged by me.
check it out.

Fausset said...

lol u never said if "S" was fine..lol i mean if he was cute i wud prolly quaved him that nite..lol

anonymous gal said...

my mum has issues wit earfones 2.i hate lag

Ms. emmotions said...

long read but well worth it gal,

so ur morning devotions wakes the neigbours?
lol

uNWrItten* said...

i need to go to lagooooooooooooooos!!!! omg!!
all this fun..pls pass some to this side abeg...:)
i dont speak yoruba so i totally feel u sha

Baroque said...

i hate very long posts but i think i'll come back & read this one...when i have the time

Baroque was here

tobenna said...

Interesting diary - like tale, Naija Idol. They dont take light in VGC? You gotta be kidding. they take light everywhere in Naija. Even Aso rock.

I tagged you in my last post :(

OluwaDee said...

lesson learnt, never wear lovely shoes to a lagos market.

That man is just harsh, but i'll say let him b its not easy to loose ones spouse.

I think his son like you, o.

Mamalicious said...

oh wow, what a blog! great fun reading this post.

meanwhile, thx for stopping by mines.

:-)

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

wow!!!why didnt that VGC guy take u out now!!ahn!ahn!!!dry boy!!!

his dad is crazy sa!!

Charizard said...

lol...hehehehehe...

chai this ur post too long sef ahnahn......

gosh ya uncle is a dulling boi...instead of hi to sound d@ fella's face...abi na 'im koba the wanker?

oya u can like to update oh dnt blame any ISP anything o...

QMoney said...

dat was soooooooooooooooooo long!!
Gal,dat uncle is a wierdo and ur family friend sounded more than bored.
u have to send DL a mail.her email addy?i dunno!hope sum1 else can help wiht dat?
takia

Buttercup said...

that was hilarious!!!! geez!

Nogo said...

Looooloolooollllll Man that was some trip! Sorry bout your white shoes. The only shoes I wouldn't wear to a market are slippers. All that madness up in your toes, no thanks... I'll take note. I'm going to Ghana in July!!! *Yes that last sentence was my excuse to brag... ;)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

I wasn't able to finish reading this but I will...

Afrobabe said...

Hey babes, come and update this joint pls....

Charizard said...

loving the new look babes!

oya update na!

Ms.cocoa brown said...

hahahah...IT IS ONLY ON NAIJA THAT IT IS AGAINST THE LAW TO LAUGH AT A FELLOW MAN....HAHAHAHAHH..THE DUDE MUST BE FREGGIN KIDING ME!!!!!!!!!!! I CUD SEE THE IMAGE OF UR UNC...WILL A MOUTHFUL OF SUSAGE....DUMBFOUNDED.....
goodness me...the guy's dad....YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gosh especially ms.cocoa that craves the love of all parents..i wud have been really hurt!
p.p.s:xoxo

NaijaBabe said...

Some fathers do have them

Anonymous said...

geez u need to update

Charizard said...

UPDATE, this pikin i dey beg you!

Afrobabe said...

Hope u r good love...

Mz. Dee said...

mrgShweerie, plz update na.. i'm askin nicely! Plllllllzzz
Hope ure gud!
xx

Charizard said...

me anm not askin nicely oh...ehen jus hear that wan nau...

UPDATE or else...

afrofabchic said...

hey thanks for showing luv on my blog. Funny story especially the mom trying to hook up thing lol i miss
naija! ciao

Aphrodite said...

Wow, which kain craze man be dat wey attack uncle? Some people are just not normal o

Baroque said...

i was praying that S wont pull any stunts?...GOSH, after answering 'yeah' to my greeting, i pack my kaya & leave, first thing in the morning...you for gum your mama...

...now you see, the say me i be militant, unless that 190 guy knows martial arts, wetin i for do am, him for no believe...how can you guys take refuge till he cools down, who him be??? i dey vex... go read Crouching Something Hidden Something on my blog

Black Berry said...

kai i remeber reading this post..it was loong o..it was also a loooooong time ago *hint*

uNWrItten* said...

babe...u can liketo update!!! lol

BlogVille Idol said...

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The Last King Of Scotland said...

interesting...the king has endorsed you

Duchess said...

pls update!

thnx for stopping by

Buttercup said...

*waits patiently(well, not really) for an update*

BlogVille Idol said...

dis babe u need to update now

we have unveiled 2008 blogville idol contestants check out the page to know when the competition starts and for more details and pls make sure u participate by listening and voting for your favorite contestant...pls stop by d page and show us some love!tanx

teediva said...

wow. Nice blog. Thought u were going to say smthn happened with guy guy sha ;D.

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